"Modern Major Enemy"

A few months ago, I was watching a friend stream “Minishoot’ Adventures” (an action adventure game with shoot-’em-up gameplay mechanics), and she referred to one of the foes in it as a “major enemy”. On a whim, I decided to write up a small parody of the “Major-General’s Song” from The Pirates of Penzance themed around that. She found it amusing enough to still refer to it weeks later, so now I’m writing it down here for posterity:

I am the very model of a modern major enemy

I stand in my boss area and do what they demand¹ of me

I dwarf the player by my size and firepower² ability,

Although I do lack somewhat in the matter of agility.

I can withstand a hundred hits from any cannon, big or small

And shoot out bullets any way, in patterns very beautiful,

I have no weakness and no way for anyone to kill me dead,

Except for this one tiny spot which happens to be glowing red.